It's Personal, So Play Nice

Warriors Arise: October 31, 2020

My Dad will always be my Dad. Meaning, he will always have a place in my heart and mind to speak to me, especially about the difficult subjects. I can generally tell when one of these conversations is about to happen but early in the first week of May, I wasn't ready.

"Veridee, Mom and I have been reading and praying with you on the Warriors Arise. You are doing a great thing" Dad paused as he picked his next words carefully. "People are going to want to see you. It is human nature to try to find a flaw in someone. My concern is when they look you up or invite you to speak, they will have an issue receiving what you are saying because of the extra weight you carry. You write in Warriors Arise about battling the enemy and defeating the coronavirus. Isn't your weight problem a battle the enemy is winning in your life? It seems like this is a personal battle you need to win."

I was stunned. What could I say to that? My Dad hit the area that I have been struggling with for the past 18 years. I was never able to get the weight off and keep it off after a miscarriage and carrying Josiah. I lost 30 pounds prior to moving to Iowa but have gained every bit of it back plus 5. I have started countless exercise programs only to gain weight instead of losing weight. I have monitored what I eat when I exercise knowing that most people eat more when they exercise. Yes, there are times I emotional eat, but I have learned to resist the devil on that battleground. I have cut back on how much I eat and still no weight loss. I have cut sweets and still no weight loss. I eat out maybe once a month, so there aren't fast food calories. I don't drink pop but on special occasions like the Iowa State Fair; 11 hours there and you need caffeine. I don't drink alcohol, honestly the smell of it makes me nauseous which I have always considered a blessing, because if I was tempted by it I just might be a lush. I have been on a number of diet plans and taken countless pills that were supposed to regulate the food, help with digestion, and cleanse the digestive system so food would be processed efficiently. And still, I carry this enormous amount of extra weight. I thought about all these things as I left my parents' house and drove home.

My dad had given me a hug and told me he loved me, but it hurt to my very core. It hurt that he thought I wasn't trying to do anything to get rid of all the weight. Several years ago I knew there had to be a change and I needed to lose the weight in order to keep up with my kids as they grew. I wanted to keep up with my kids and be able to physically do things with them. If I couldn't keep up with my kids then how would I ever be able to keep up with my grandkids when they came into our family?

I was mad at myself for letting my weight control me and my Dad was right. I wanted to be mad at him. I knew he loved me but this confrontation was devastating.

If I didn't have the Holy Spirit then I wouldn't have received the truth of what my Dad was saying. Without the Holy Spirit I would have resented my Dad and hated him for telling me the truth. As the tears rolled down my cheeks on my drive home there was a battle.

The enemy was telling me, "See, you have failed your Dad again." Followed by, "He has never loved you anyway; everything is always your fault. You are not disciplined enough." Then the enemy expanded his edge, "He has never approved of you. He has always condemned you because you were overweight. Don't you remember the time you came out to the living room to show him a new dress and he looked up from the paper and commented, "It would look good if you didn't have that pudge."" I remember being devastated as I returned to my room. I was in high school. I wasn't fat but I did have a pudge. The reality of the truth hurts. Sadly, when I think of my weight, I have always thought I would never be good enough for my Dad; because before I made it back to the room the enemy had begun with his lies.

Ah, that was it, the enemy took me back to a point where I needed to see Jesus. And at that point the Holy Spirit began to speak to me and set the record straight. First of all, my Dad was not being Dad at that point, he was being an evaluator. My Dad will always tell the truth not with the intention of hurting me or anyone else but when he is asked to evaluate something he will give an evaluation. I can respect that. But when I remembered that moment in time as I was driving home last May, the Holy Spirit reminded me of something the enemy had hidden. Before I left the room to go out to my Dad, God had seen my beauty and He approved of me. I went to seek approval from someone else when God had already told me I was beautiful and accepted. But that wasn't enough. The reason I felt so good about going out to my Dad and putting myself before him is because God has spoken so deeply I felt confident about myself.

Before you get upset with my Dad, I totally love him and value what he says. And he was right to talk to me in May about my weight. He had good reason to be concerned for me and he ultimately wanted the best for me because he wanted nothing to hinder people hearing the message God would give me to share.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me on my drive home about the lie I had believed about my Dad's heart toward me. My Dad wants what is best for me just like God. Physically, I needed to lose weight. But how? I have tried and failed so many times. I have prayed and listened but when would my answer come. When would I get breakthrough on my weight?

The Holy Spirit revealed that when God gives me approval I do not need to go seeking it from someone else. That day, back in high school, God had given me His approval and told me I was beautiful, but I went out to seek someone else's approval. Instead of truly receiving what God had spoken over me, I used that feel-good moment to get more. I didn't bask in what my heavenly Father had said. I went to get from my Dad what I needed from my God.

As the Holy Spirit revealed this to me, I released my Dad from holding him responsible for my weight problem. I had believed the lie of the enemy for years. I believed that my Dad didn't love me. I believed that I would never meet his approval. I believed that the newspaper was more important than me. All the lies the enemy had been able to sow into my being opened the door for the enemy.

Back in May, on the ride home as the Holy Spirit revealed these lies. It was easy to forgive my Dad because now I knew he was not to blame. I went through each lie and renounced it and spoke the truth of my Dad's love for me. My Dad approves of me. Then I replaced those lies with the truth of what my Dad shared that day. My Dad believes God has plans for me. My Dad wants me to succeed. My Dad loves me and it hurts him to see me carrying all this weight that could ultimately harm me.

I share this because I have been writing about the Holy Spirit, the perfect gift God gave to believers who will ask. We ask for the Holy Spirit who guides us into all truth, comfort us, strengthen us give us joy and the list goes on. You can read about it in the last two days of Warriors Arise. What I have shared today is to give you a tangible example of how the Holy Spirit speaks to us, leads us into truth, reveals the lies of the enemy that have believed. Then we have a choice. Will we continue to believe the lies of the enemy as truth or will we live in the truth the Holy Spirit has shared. It is as if you are in a prison, then the Holy Spirit shares the truth. He gives you the key but you have to use it to open the door and have the courage to walk out of the lie and begin living that truth.

Throughout the summer, I prayed and asked the Lord to lead me. I started yet another exercise program, became stricter on my eating proportions, and took different probiotics etc. exactly like I was supposed to. Still only losing 5 pounds and gaining 5 pounds. The yo-yo again. The Holy Spirit stepped in again to remind me what my Dad had said, "This is a battle. You write in your Warriors Arise about praying for those who are sick, even terminally ill. You tell them it is not only a physical battle but a spiritual battle. I see your being overweight as the same thing."

Dad was right again. When he said that, I knew he was right. The enemy not only had lied to me but everything in my being had agreed so much with the lie that I had to remove the enemy before I would be able to lose the weight to be healthy and thrive for my kids. I began to war removing the lies of the enemy, replacing them with the truth of what God has said and continues to say about my weight. The Holy Spirit had reminded me that I wasn't fighting against my flesh and blood but against the enemy who I had given control, in regard to my weight. The Holy Spirit told me to take back what the enemy had stolen from me.

The Holy Spirit reminded me of another lie I had believed. I believed the lie I was too old to lose weight. I had to confront the enemy. He is not the one who made my body and God is doing miracles every day. Therefore, I would seek God for my miracle and tell the enemy to go. I would not entertain this lie any more. God had plans for me to lose weight, live healthy and share the Word of God.

Now, I am ready. I couldn't sleep last night, because I was nervous and had a few more lies to deal with. Today, I started a health journey that I am confident God brought to me for this time, because I am now ready. This health journey has such potential, it has the missing parts that I needed. I really like structure. I do well with a plan. And even though this health journey has structure it also has fluidity. However I don't like to do anything by myself when I know it is a God-thing. So I am wondering if any of you would like to join me on my health journey? Do you need someone to encourage you? Do you need a program where you do not have to guess what you are to do? Do you need a program where you know when is the best time to exercise? Do you just need a healthier lifestyle? Maybe you don't have the amount of weight to lose like me, but you want to live healthier. God will help us. Would you like to do this together? This may not be your time but when it is, I would love to be a part of your transformation. If this is your time, let's start now. I have so much more to share about how the Holy Spirit led me to this point. Whether you decide to be a part of the health journey with me or not; I hope that in today's Warriors Arise you learned how the Holy Spirit is involved in your life every day, leading you in all truth and the ways of righteousness.

Father, I thank You for the Holy Spirit. I thank You for giving us the perfect gift we would need to overcome the enemy. I invite the Holy Spirit in my life to speak the truth. I open up my heart and mind to learn of the enemy's lies and how they have imprisoned me. I pray for the boldness to take the key of truth and unlock the lie I have believed. I ask for the courage to step out of the prison of that lie and into the complete truth of what You have said about me. You love me. You approve of me. You have plans for me to succeed. You want me to succeed not only in my relationship with You but physically. You will restore my body to perfect health as I commit to following the plan You hav given me to succeed. You want me to be ready to release Your Word whenever I am asked, wherever You will send me. I must be ready. Thank You for loving me with the truth. Thank You for Your perfect gift of the Holy Spirit. Bring life to me body, soul and spirit in Jesus' name amen.

For those of you who have my phone number you can text or call if you want to know more about the health journey I have started and we can do together. For those of you on facebook you can send a private message. This is our time. Let's do this together.

A Warrior in the Lord’s Army,

Veridee Joy

My hope is for Believers in Jesus Christ to join together each day to pray, to push back the enemy as we release God’s power here on earth against the coronavirus, riots, and lies. The prayers will be listed each day as Warriors Arise. I will put a date with it so we can keep them straight. If you have any questions please feel free to make a comment or private message me. If you would like this to come to your email directly please go to verideehand.com and subscribe.